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Creating a safe place.
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Seeking pastoral psychotherapy, or any other kind of therapy,
is an enormously difficult step for people who have experienced any form of abuse. Like any relationship, a therapeutic relationship
depends on trust. Yet this is often so difficult and frightening, especially at first. As Judith Herman
observes in her classic book on the aftermath of abuse -- which explores the experiences of survivors both of domestic abuse
(emotional, physical, and sexual) as well as victims of war and terrorism -- much of the early therapeutic work centers on
creating a sense of safety. This is a shared process, with therapist and client struggling together to create the healing
space.
"The first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author and arbiter of her own recovery.
Others may offer advice, support, assistance, affection, and care, but not cure. Many benevolent and well-intentioned attempts
to assist the survivor founder because this fundamental principle of empowerment is not observed. No intervention that takes
power away from the survivor can possibly foster her recovery, no matter how much it appears to be in her immediate best interest.
In the words of an incest survivor, 'Good therapists were those who really validated my experience and helped me to control
my behavior rather than trying to control me.'
"Caregivers schooled in a medical model of treatment often have difficulty
grasping this fundamental principle and putting it into practice....The alliance of therapy cannot be taken for granted; it
must be painstakingly built by the effort of both patient and therapist. Therapy requires a collaborative working relationship
in which both partners act on the basis of their implicit confidence in the value and efficacy of persuasion rather than coercion,
ideas rather than force, mutuality rather than authoritarian control. These are precisely the beliefs that have been shattered
by the traumatic experience."
from Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. (BasicBooks, 1992)
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Worn down, hemmed in, stressed out?
Longing for something more?
Call (914) 941-6478 or
for a free consultation.
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Last updated on
N.Y. Licensed Psychoanalyst
Certified, National Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis
Member, American Association of Pastoral Counselors
Individuals, Couples, Parent
coaching
Westchester County and New York City
914-941-6478
212-802-7333
Serving the online community as well as midtown Manhattan, 10016, 10022, 10017, Westchester Putnam Dutchess
and Fairfield counties, including Ossining Briarcliff Manor Croton-on-Hudson Yorktown Heights Sleepy Hollow Tarrytown Pleasantville
Pocantico Hills Chappaqua Millwood Mount Kisco Somers Katonah Mahopac Irvington Hastings-on-Hudson Yonkers and Valhalla.
Individual therapy, spiritual counseling, couples counseling, and parent coaching, as well as premarital
counseling and help with divorce, relationships and communication.
Copyright © 2005 Jean Fitzpatrick. All rights reserved.
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